The Inevitable End

It's here.

Today, I cried as I pulled down the pictures and posters on my wall. It's funny how 3 months ago I arrived at this place and an empty apartment looked like endless possibilities, but now it just looks like the end of something wonderful, the end of an era.

Every time I leave China, my heart breaks. I don't think I'll be coming back and I don't think it'll be very soon, but then something happens, as if China is a magnet and I am the polar opposite. I find myself back much sooner than anticipated. Sadly, this time feels different. My heart is heavier and I feel like it's going to be a while. I try to trust my feelings and perceptions in general. When I left Nanjing, I felt deeply that I wouldn't be coming back for a while. A longer while than just 4 months. Longer than a year. China, please wait for me. I'll be back someday.

Merry Christmas!

To begin with, this has been the strangest Christmas ever. However, it has been a good one all the same.

This week has been SO bittersweet since we will be leaving and we've been teaching each class for the last time and saying goodbyes. It's also been Christmas and we wanted to be home with our family. China always does that to me. It rips my heart in two. One side wants to stay here in China forever and study Chinese till I speak like a native. The other wants to be home with my family and friends, in a country that speaks my language so I don't come home mentally exhausted every day.

On Christmas Eve, two of our classes threw us a Christmas party. They decorated their classroom with some Christmas trees and other things. Then, they had a whole show prepared. They read a speech about how sad they are that we are leaving, how grateful they are that we came, and how much they will miss us and love us. Then, there was a poetry reading, some singing, and it wouldn't be China if they didn't make Sadie and me get up and sing a song and say some things. Then one of the schools administrators gave us each a gift and talked about how grateful they are that we came and they know it's not easy and they hope we can come back again to the school some day.

The next part is the best. Their powerpoint said, "Time to give gifts to Sadie and Sarah!" The kids horded us with cards, small stuffed animals, chocolates, or art they had done. Then, they brought out a GIANT cake. The kids went crazy. One minute, I was standing right next to the cake, the next I was somehow not even within ten feet of it. It was like being on the floor of a really insane concert. Somehow I managed to get icing all over myself without even touching any cake. I love those kids. I'm going to miss them like CRAZY!

That evening, we invited Janny, Julie, and Heidi over for dinner and a small Christmas program/sleepover. We ate, read the story of Christ's birth from the bible, and watched the nativity video that the church made.

Christmas day was different. We woke up, Sadie and I exchanged presents, then we opened our stockings our mom sent us. We forgot to eat breakfast and had an early lunch before going to the shopping market to get our nails done. I also had to buy some new luggage since mine broke the first time I used it. Then we went to a hot pot restaurant with the foreigners and a few Chinese friends and followed that with KTV. Orange, one of our friends paid for the KTV as a Christmas present which was so sweet of her. It was a really fun day and unlike any Christmas I've ever had!

In the evening we Skyped with my family who was just waking up on Christmas morning. We watched them open presents and said hi to the family that came over for breakfast. This Christmas will not be one I soon forget.

Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night! :)

Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer

Last post, I mentioned that some of my students were doing a short play this week. It was SO cute! We adapted a script we found online of Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer and 8 of my 7th graders made up the cast.

Here is the script in case you can't understand.

Scene 1

Narrator: Once upon a time there lived a reindeer named Rudolph. The North Pole was Rudolph’s home. Everyone in Rudolph’s town was busy getting ready for Christmas.

(enter Elves and Santa)

Narrator: The elves were busy making toys. Santa Claus was checking his list of boys and girls who were naughty or nice.

Scene 2

(enter Rudolph, have other reindeer ready)

Narrator: Rudolph was a unique reindeer. He was different from all other reindeer. Rudolph had a red shiny nose that lit up.

(other reindeer come in)

Narrator: All of the other reindeer had small brown noses. Sometimes the other reindeer would laugh at Rudolph and call him names.

Reindeer 1: “Ha-ha! Look at his Red Nose!”

Reindeer 2: “He looks funny! ”

Reindeer 3: “We don’t want to play with you because you are different!”

Rudolph: “Hey! It’s okay to be different. I like my red nose.”

Scene 3

(Rudolph, reindeer, Santa Claus, elves, sleigh)

Narrator: The elves were busy filling Santa’s sleigh on the night before Christmas. The sky was filled with clouds and they could not see at all. Santa was ready to choose his team to pull his sleigh.

Elves: Santa, what will we do? We can’t see because there are too many clouds! How will you fly your sleigh to give toys to all the boys and girls?

Santa: I have chosen a very special reindeer to lead the way. Rudolph the red nose reindeer! Your nose is so bright; it will lead the way on this cloudy night.

Narrator: Rudolph saved Christmas and became everyone’s hero. It’s okay to be different. We all have special talents that we can share with each other.

Everyone: Merry Christmas and a happy New Year!

We practiced twice, and I was so impressed by how quickly the memorized their lines. 

The day before the show was going to happen, Mary, our Liaison bought a Christmas tree and the 8 kids decorated it. They were SO excited and went a little crazy. I liked sharing in that moment with them because Christmas isn't something that people celebrate here really. I've helped decorate our Christmas tree ever since I can remember, but these kids did it for the first time that day. The look of excitment on their faces was priceless. 

My videos wouldn't upload on here, but I uploaded them on my Facebook so you can watch them there. There are two parts because they had to pause until some important officials that were visiting the school could see them doing the play. Also, Mary was translating a little during the performance. It's all about appearances here.  Here's a few pictures.

What Should I Call This?

Gosh. Time goes by so fast.

Just yesterday I was on a plane to China, and now, in only 2 weeks, I'm going to be on a plane to America. Tomorrow, I have my last Wednesday classes ever since the next Wednesday is Christmas and our school gave us the day off. No more favorite class and no more demon class. Sad.

I'm just trying to sum up my time here. Did I do what I came here to do? Did I meet who I needed to meet? Did I act the way I should? Did I learn enough Chinese? Though I feel mostly inadequate in all those areas, especially the Chinese department, I know I learned a lot personally that will change me for the good.

I'm leaving a little frustrated by one thing though. Today in class, I was trying to explain to a very confused student why we usually say, "He IS the same age as me," instead of, "He HAS the same age as me." When I finished a probably lame attempt, he said, "Can we ask our English teacher?" I was a little surprised and said, "You don't believe me?" "No, we believe you, but we must know for the exam." It doesn't matter if I teach them something because if their Chinese English teacher teaches them differently, that's the one they will have to remember because that's the one that will be important to their grades.

Students in China are VERY focused on exams. \During a Christmas activity, I asked some kids what they would want for Christmas. Most of them mentioned passing their exams. When I asked them about their weekend today, most of them groaned and said they got their exam scores back and it was not a good weekend. Poor kids. So much pressure.

When I first got here in October, I was really worried about Christmas. I was scared I'd be really homesick and my day would be ruined. I was sad to miss out on Christmas decorations, smells, and the spirit of it all while I'm here. Luckily, China loves the commercial side of Christmas so there are Christmas trees in stores, creepy Santa signs on doors, and so many people have asked about Christmas and what we'll do while we are here. So that parts covered. I've learned that Christmas is what you make it. The decorations, the candies, and other things are all great, but not necessary. Christmas is pouring out your love to those around you, softening your heart, and most of all, remembering Christ our Savior's birth and the joy he brought into the world. You can do that in China just as easily as you can in America. Sure, I'll really miss my family and being with them, but I have Sadie, and there's a strand of Christmas lights on my bed. There won't be snow, or a tree, or even a lot of gifts, but there will be something much more precious. Family, love, and a remembrance of the Savior. I never thought I'd need a lesson like the Grinch did, and it didn't hit me as hard as it hit him, but it's true, Christmas comes all the same.

Also, this week, one of our liaisons told us we have to put on a play for some visiting teacher on Thursday. 8 of my students will be performing Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer. It's really cute and hopefully I get some good pictures. When they were practicing the lines, our liaison, Mary was helping them. When they came to the word unique, she told them to pronounce it sort of funny so it sounded like she said, "Rudolph is a eunuch reindeer." We corrected the pronunciation and then Mary said, "Oh! We always say it like that." Hahaha!

Merry Christmas!

100 Days Party

My very dear friends Joy and Carl recently got married and had a baby. They had the most darling little baby boy in July. His English name is CJ (Carl Jr.). I know I'm not his blood relative, but whatever, I'm still his aunt and I love him to pieces!

I have learned about a lot of different traditions the Chinese have with newborns through Joy and Carl, but the most recent one is the 100 Day Celebration they held.  I've asked people and done a lot of searching online. Online there isn't much information, but others have told me that one reason is that the first 100 days are the most dangerous for a baby. If they live to be 100 days, they are out of the woods, so to speak. Otherwise, it's just a good time to let friends and family meet the new baby and give gifts or money and drink lots of alcohol.

Joy invited me to come, and originally I wasn't going to go because was in Nanjing on a Sunday night and I had two morning classes the next day. It just would've been hard. But then Joy begged and begged me to come because she would be taking CJ and going to Guizhou to stay with her mom until after the Chinese New Year. It was our last chance to see each other before she left.

I went to talk to my liaison about returning from Nanjing Monday morning. I wanted to make sure I'd be able to make it back in time without being late. Then she just told me to take Monday off, no problem. I was so surprised and so grateful!

I went into Nanjing early on Sunday to go to church first. Then in the afternoon after eating at "the rice place" with Brad and Ashley, I headed over to Joy's for some sister time. That was when the awkward introductions started. A few people came to the apartment to bring some fruit and other gifts and every single one asked Joy who I was. I stand out a little, you know.  Then I had to attempt to pronounce each name and tell them it was nice to meet them. That parts easy, but no matter how much Chinese I speak, names are always so hard. Especially because the Chinese put a lot of emphasis on correct pronunciation of names because they think it's polite.

We walked together to the restaurant and when I walked into the room, there were SO many people. It freaked me out a little as the only foreigner in the room, so I turned around and walked out. I know. Real brave. It's just that I draw a lot of attention in a room like that, and it can be nerve racking sometimes. I waited for Joy before going back in and she had me sit in between her and her friend whose English is really good.  Then, the eating and drinking began. For probably the 800 millionth time, I politely refused the wine when it was offered and took the orange juice instead. I expertly avoided the pig intestines and awkwardly joined in some toasts until Joy told me I didn't have to anymore. Then I awkwardly sat in my chair while everyone else toasted Joy and Carl. Then, Carl said, "Sarah, please enjoy yourself." I said, "Thank you." Then everyone started laughing at me. I was so confused! Apparently that meant Carl wanted to toast me, but I had no idea. So then I chinked glasses with him while everyone laughed. Surprisingly I wasn't embarrassed. I guess you get used to being laughed at here. Haha!

I also realize I know nothing about drinking culture in America because they were asking me what we say in America when we are drinking with our friends and I couldn't even tell them. Though I did tell them what Greek people say...

Each person at the party gave Carl a red envelope with money inside it. Each one would have between 100 and 200 yuan and goes towards helping the baby in one way or another.

I left a little early to go back to the apartment with Joy and CJ while Carl stayed. When Carl finally did come back, he was drunk. Really drunk. Swaying on his feet drunk. And it was hilarious. He's quite affectionate when he's drunk and he kept giving me hugs and saying thank you. Sadie pointed out that it's pretty impressive that he could manage to speak another language whilst so drunk. He said, "Sarah, thank you for my children's 100 day party."

Joy also showed me a video of CJ when they take him to get a "shower." What it really is is a place a lot of people take their babies to have a bath. They strap this sort of ring floaty around the baby's neck to keep his face out of the water and he swims around. CJ obviously really likes it and Joy kept saying, "He is so free." It is so interesting how different we do things.  Here's a video of another baby swimming. The water looks kind of gross and I assure you that CJ wasn't in gross water. His was clean. The lady talking is kind of annoying, but she's talking to the baby. She's saying he's 36 days old and he doesn't cry a lot. Also that he's very handsome. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1I4Lp1Oz_3c

The next day, I had lunch with Carl and Joy one last time before saying goodbye. China is wonderful, but always full of goodbyes. Lucky for me, they've usually turned out to be short, but every time, good bye is harder to say. This time, with tears in my eyes, I hugged my friends and thanked them for their kindness and friendship before getting on a bus back to Yangzhong. I miss them so much already, but in my heart, I KNOW I will see them again.

I'm BACK!

So it's been awhile because my proxy stopped working, but now I'm back!

Since a lot has happened, I'll just do a few highlights.

Sadie and I went to Hefei together for a weekend. Sadie lived in a city near there when she was in China and spent weekends there all the time. We only had time to go for one night, but it was worth it. Hefei is SUPER dirty but we made friends with the sweetest girl who showed us around and took us out to eat.

We went fishing with one of our friends. Chinese fishing is really different because they don't use a reel. Instead they just make the string long enough to reach out into the water a bit while being short enough to handle. They use re-hydrated ground up shrimp shells as bait and apparently it's better than marshmallows because we went for 1 1/2 hours and we caught more than 10 fish. Sadie even caught two, though the first one got away because she yanked the pole so hard the fish flew up and hit the roof before falling off the hook and back into the water. It was a lot of fun and required less patience. Though I do like fishing in America still and I still dream of going ice fishing someday. (I know! Everyone says it's not that fun, but I just really want to try it!)

We also spent a weekend in Shanghai so Sadie could visit a friend who lives there. We tried to do a little Christmas shopping and stayed in a great hostel in the center of tourist central. We also got to visit the Shanghai branch which was so nice especially since we got to watch the primary program.

Kelli decided to come to visit us in China! YEAH!!! She's coming next week on Tuesday, but we won't see her until Thursday (Thanksgiving) and then she'll go with us to Nanjing on Saturday for Thanksgiving dinner with the branch. The next weekend, we are going to Suzhou together. It'll be so fun to show her around and let her experience the China we love so much.

I FINALLY got to go to a Chinese wedding yesterday. AMAZING! Also a little strange. One of the young teachers here invited us to come with all the other teachers at the school. After school got out, there was a big bus waiting near the gate. We got on with all the other teachers and it drove to the restaurant. When we got there, most everyone was already sitting down, and by most everyone I mean 400-500 Chinese people. We were sitting at some tables near the front so we had to walk through hords of tables full of staring people. We don't really blend in here.

The tables already had food on them so we sat and basically started eating. The wedding ceremony happened while people ate and only semi-paid attention. It wasn't quiet and there weren't many sentiments.Also, I didn't understand anything that happened, but they looked happy together. They also had an MC sort of guy that announced everything. After the wedding part was over, the food just kept coming and they had entertainers there to perform. Some dancing girls in belly shirts, a singing woman who turned out to be a man, and a contortionist. They had a hula hopping contest and Sadie won a big stuffed baby Mickey Mouse. There were lots of toasts and I don't know how many times we stood because someone came to our table to toast us, but it was a lot, and I drank a lot of coconut milk stuff.

One of Yangzhong's specialties is puffer fish and what would a Yangzhong wedding be without it? It was good, but tasted like most other fish I've tried. Then there was the whole crab on my plate that I had to figure out how to eat. Lucky for me, a Chinese person helped me and made me knowingly eat the brain. Although it tasted fine, it was just a bit uncomfortable to think about. Other dishes included chicken feet, possibly pigs head though I can't be sure, whole shrimp. When the night was over, our table had layers on layers of food sitting in the middle and we didn't even eat half of it, though some other tables made much better progress than us. It never ceases to amaze me about how much these people can eat.

That's the guy. He really has a beautiful voice.

Update on the Demon Class

I've been in China for 3 weeks now and teaching in Yangzhong for 2 1/2. It feels like so much longer. Home seems a lifetime away and China seems like it's always been here.

I've only taught the Demon Class twice because they went on a field trip during one of our class times. But I'm proud to say that we are making progress! This time, there were only a couple flying projectiles, mostly paper, and I got them to sit practically completely silent for 20 minutes. Their teacher walked over to check on them and they were already quiet. GO ME!

Even though they were totally quiet for 20 minutes, that still leaves 25 other minutes where they were crazy. I had to tell them multiple times to put their homework from other classes away during the lesson, I made two students stand up in the back of class because they kept crawling around  on the floor at the back of the class. I confiscated a watch complete with a red laser that was being shown on me. And so on. I hate having to be so strict. In my other classes I can be kind of crazy and do things to make the kids laugh, but in this class, if I do that, they all go crazy and stop listening completely. If I let them be this loud and insane at the beginning of the year, they will only get worse as time goes on and I can't have that. 

They made postcards as part of the lesson activity at the end of class and most of them wrote apologies to me on theirs. It melted my heart and I just felt more love for them. They are children still in a sense and they work so hard in school. They are there nearly 12 hours of the day 5 days a week. They have so much pressure to do well in class. Can I really blame them for having pent up energy by the end of a long day? I try to make my lessons fun so they can have a little break from the mundane. We play games and I act weird so they laugh. I would just play games all class and have crazy amounts of fun, but I'm here to teach English, too so we have to do a lesson from their book or a cultural lesson about America. I hope that by the end of the semester, we can find a balance together that works for us both. You can't help but love them. Demonesque or not.