The Inevitable End

It's here.

Today, I cried as I pulled down the pictures and posters on my wall. It's funny how 3 months ago I arrived at this place and an empty apartment looked like endless possibilities, but now it just looks like the end of something wonderful, the end of an era.

Every time I leave China, my heart breaks. I don't think I'll be coming back and I don't think it'll be very soon, but then something happens, as if China is a magnet and I am the polar opposite. I find myself back much sooner than anticipated. Sadly, this time feels different. My heart is heavier and I feel like it's going to be a while. I try to trust my feelings and perceptions in general. When I left Nanjing, I felt deeply that I wouldn't be coming back for a while. A longer while than just 4 months. Longer than a year. China, please wait for me. I'll be back someday.

Merry Christmas!

To begin with, this has been the strangest Christmas ever. However, it has been a good one all the same.

This week has been SO bittersweet since we will be leaving and we've been teaching each class for the last time and saying goodbyes. It's also been Christmas and we wanted to be home with our family. China always does that to me. It rips my heart in two. One side wants to stay here in China forever and study Chinese till I speak like a native. The other wants to be home with my family and friends, in a country that speaks my language so I don't come home mentally exhausted every day.

On Christmas Eve, two of our classes threw us a Christmas party. They decorated their classroom with some Christmas trees and other things. Then, they had a whole show prepared. They read a speech about how sad they are that we are leaving, how grateful they are that we came, and how much they will miss us and love us. Then, there was a poetry reading, some singing, and it wouldn't be China if they didn't make Sadie and me get up and sing a song and say some things. Then one of the schools administrators gave us each a gift and talked about how grateful they are that we came and they know it's not easy and they hope we can come back again to the school some day.

The next part is the best. Their powerpoint said, "Time to give gifts to Sadie and Sarah!" The kids horded us with cards, small stuffed animals, chocolates, or art they had done. Then, they brought out a GIANT cake. The kids went crazy. One minute, I was standing right next to the cake, the next I was somehow not even within ten feet of it. It was like being on the floor of a really insane concert. Somehow I managed to get icing all over myself without even touching any cake. I love those kids. I'm going to miss them like CRAZY!

That evening, we invited Janny, Julie, and Heidi over for dinner and a small Christmas program/sleepover. We ate, read the story of Christ's birth from the bible, and watched the nativity video that the church made.

Christmas day was different. We woke up, Sadie and I exchanged presents, then we opened our stockings our mom sent us. We forgot to eat breakfast and had an early lunch before going to the shopping market to get our nails done. I also had to buy some new luggage since mine broke the first time I used it. Then we went to a hot pot restaurant with the foreigners and a few Chinese friends and followed that with KTV. Orange, one of our friends paid for the KTV as a Christmas present which was so sweet of her. It was a really fun day and unlike any Christmas I've ever had!

In the evening we Skyped with my family who was just waking up on Christmas morning. We watched them open presents and said hi to the family that came over for breakfast. This Christmas will not be one I soon forget.

Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night! :)

Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer

Last post, I mentioned that some of my students were doing a short play this week. It was SO cute! We adapted a script we found online of Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer and 8 of my 7th graders made up the cast.

Here is the script in case you can't understand.

Scene 1

Narrator: Once upon a time there lived a reindeer named Rudolph. The North Pole was Rudolph’s home. Everyone in Rudolph’s town was busy getting ready for Christmas.

(enter Elves and Santa)

Narrator: The elves were busy making toys. Santa Claus was checking his list of boys and girls who were naughty or nice.

Scene 2

(enter Rudolph, have other reindeer ready)

Narrator: Rudolph was a unique reindeer. He was different from all other reindeer. Rudolph had a red shiny nose that lit up.

(other reindeer come in)

Narrator: All of the other reindeer had small brown noses. Sometimes the other reindeer would laugh at Rudolph and call him names.

Reindeer 1: “Ha-ha! Look at his Red Nose!”

Reindeer 2: “He looks funny! ”

Reindeer 3: “We don’t want to play with you because you are different!”

Rudolph: “Hey! It’s okay to be different. I like my red nose.”

Scene 3

(Rudolph, reindeer, Santa Claus, elves, sleigh)

Narrator: The elves were busy filling Santa’s sleigh on the night before Christmas. The sky was filled with clouds and they could not see at all. Santa was ready to choose his team to pull his sleigh.

Elves: Santa, what will we do? We can’t see because there are too many clouds! How will you fly your sleigh to give toys to all the boys and girls?

Santa: I have chosen a very special reindeer to lead the way. Rudolph the red nose reindeer! Your nose is so bright; it will lead the way on this cloudy night.

Narrator: Rudolph saved Christmas and became everyone’s hero. It’s okay to be different. We all have special talents that we can share with each other.

Everyone: Merry Christmas and a happy New Year!

We practiced twice, and I was so impressed by how quickly the memorized their lines. 

The day before the show was going to happen, Mary, our Liaison bought a Christmas tree and the 8 kids decorated it. They were SO excited and went a little crazy. I liked sharing in that moment with them because Christmas isn't something that people celebrate here really. I've helped decorate our Christmas tree ever since I can remember, but these kids did it for the first time that day. The look of excitment on their faces was priceless. 

My videos wouldn't upload on here, but I uploaded them on my Facebook so you can watch them there. There are two parts because they had to pause until some important officials that were visiting the school could see them doing the play. Also, Mary was translating a little during the performance. It's all about appearances here.  Here's a few pictures.

What Should I Call This?

Gosh. Time goes by so fast.

Just yesterday I was on a plane to China, and now, in only 2 weeks, I'm going to be on a plane to America. Tomorrow, I have my last Wednesday classes ever since the next Wednesday is Christmas and our school gave us the day off. No more favorite class and no more demon class. Sad.

I'm just trying to sum up my time here. Did I do what I came here to do? Did I meet who I needed to meet? Did I act the way I should? Did I learn enough Chinese? Though I feel mostly inadequate in all those areas, especially the Chinese department, I know I learned a lot personally that will change me for the good.

I'm leaving a little frustrated by one thing though. Today in class, I was trying to explain to a very confused student why we usually say, "He IS the same age as me," instead of, "He HAS the same age as me." When I finished a probably lame attempt, he said, "Can we ask our English teacher?" I was a little surprised and said, "You don't believe me?" "No, we believe you, but we must know for the exam." It doesn't matter if I teach them something because if their Chinese English teacher teaches them differently, that's the one they will have to remember because that's the one that will be important to their grades.

Students in China are VERY focused on exams. \During a Christmas activity, I asked some kids what they would want for Christmas. Most of them mentioned passing their exams. When I asked them about their weekend today, most of them groaned and said they got their exam scores back and it was not a good weekend. Poor kids. So much pressure.

When I first got here in October, I was really worried about Christmas. I was scared I'd be really homesick and my day would be ruined. I was sad to miss out on Christmas decorations, smells, and the spirit of it all while I'm here. Luckily, China loves the commercial side of Christmas so there are Christmas trees in stores, creepy Santa signs on doors, and so many people have asked about Christmas and what we'll do while we are here. So that parts covered. I've learned that Christmas is what you make it. The decorations, the candies, and other things are all great, but not necessary. Christmas is pouring out your love to those around you, softening your heart, and most of all, remembering Christ our Savior's birth and the joy he brought into the world. You can do that in China just as easily as you can in America. Sure, I'll really miss my family and being with them, but I have Sadie, and there's a strand of Christmas lights on my bed. There won't be snow, or a tree, or even a lot of gifts, but there will be something much more precious. Family, love, and a remembrance of the Savior. I never thought I'd need a lesson like the Grinch did, and it didn't hit me as hard as it hit him, but it's true, Christmas comes all the same.

Also, this week, one of our liaisons told us we have to put on a play for some visiting teacher on Thursday. 8 of my students will be performing Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer. It's really cute and hopefully I get some good pictures. When they were practicing the lines, our liaison, Mary was helping them. When they came to the word unique, she told them to pronounce it sort of funny so it sounded like she said, "Rudolph is a eunuch reindeer." We corrected the pronunciation and then Mary said, "Oh! We always say it like that." Hahaha!

Merry Christmas!

100 Days Party

My very dear friends Joy and Carl recently got married and had a baby. They had the most darling little baby boy in July. His English name is CJ (Carl Jr.). I know I'm not his blood relative, but whatever, I'm still his aunt and I love him to pieces!

I have learned about a lot of different traditions the Chinese have with newborns through Joy and Carl, but the most recent one is the 100 Day Celebration they held.  I've asked people and done a lot of searching online. Online there isn't much information, but others have told me that one reason is that the first 100 days are the most dangerous for a baby. If they live to be 100 days, they are out of the woods, so to speak. Otherwise, it's just a good time to let friends and family meet the new baby and give gifts or money and drink lots of alcohol.

Joy invited me to come, and originally I wasn't going to go because was in Nanjing on a Sunday night and I had two morning classes the next day. It just would've been hard. But then Joy begged and begged me to come because she would be taking CJ and going to Guizhou to stay with her mom until after the Chinese New Year. It was our last chance to see each other before she left.

I went to talk to my liaison about returning from Nanjing Monday morning. I wanted to make sure I'd be able to make it back in time without being late. Then she just told me to take Monday off, no problem. I was so surprised and so grateful!

I went into Nanjing early on Sunday to go to church first. Then in the afternoon after eating at "the rice place" with Brad and Ashley, I headed over to Joy's for some sister time. That was when the awkward introductions started. A few people came to the apartment to bring some fruit and other gifts and every single one asked Joy who I was. I stand out a little, you know.  Then I had to attempt to pronounce each name and tell them it was nice to meet them. That parts easy, but no matter how much Chinese I speak, names are always so hard. Especially because the Chinese put a lot of emphasis on correct pronunciation of names because they think it's polite.

We walked together to the restaurant and when I walked into the room, there were SO many people. It freaked me out a little as the only foreigner in the room, so I turned around and walked out. I know. Real brave. It's just that I draw a lot of attention in a room like that, and it can be nerve racking sometimes. I waited for Joy before going back in and she had me sit in between her and her friend whose English is really good.  Then, the eating and drinking began. For probably the 800 millionth time, I politely refused the wine when it was offered and took the orange juice instead. I expertly avoided the pig intestines and awkwardly joined in some toasts until Joy told me I didn't have to anymore. Then I awkwardly sat in my chair while everyone else toasted Joy and Carl. Then, Carl said, "Sarah, please enjoy yourself." I said, "Thank you." Then everyone started laughing at me. I was so confused! Apparently that meant Carl wanted to toast me, but I had no idea. So then I chinked glasses with him while everyone laughed. Surprisingly I wasn't embarrassed. I guess you get used to being laughed at here. Haha!

I also realize I know nothing about drinking culture in America because they were asking me what we say in America when we are drinking with our friends and I couldn't even tell them. Though I did tell them what Greek people say...

Each person at the party gave Carl a red envelope with money inside it. Each one would have between 100 and 200 yuan and goes towards helping the baby in one way or another.

I left a little early to go back to the apartment with Joy and CJ while Carl stayed. When Carl finally did come back, he was drunk. Really drunk. Swaying on his feet drunk. And it was hilarious. He's quite affectionate when he's drunk and he kept giving me hugs and saying thank you. Sadie pointed out that it's pretty impressive that he could manage to speak another language whilst so drunk. He said, "Sarah, thank you for my children's 100 day party."

Joy also showed me a video of CJ when they take him to get a "shower." What it really is is a place a lot of people take their babies to have a bath. They strap this sort of ring floaty around the baby's neck to keep his face out of the water and he swims around. CJ obviously really likes it and Joy kept saying, "He is so free." It is so interesting how different we do things.  Here's a video of another baby swimming. The water looks kind of gross and I assure you that CJ wasn't in gross water. His was clean. The lady talking is kind of annoying, but she's talking to the baby. She's saying he's 36 days old and he doesn't cry a lot. Also that he's very handsome. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1I4Lp1Oz_3c

The next day, I had lunch with Carl and Joy one last time before saying goodbye. China is wonderful, but always full of goodbyes. Lucky for me, they've usually turned out to be short, but every time, good bye is harder to say. This time, with tears in my eyes, I hugged my friends and thanked them for their kindness and friendship before getting on a bus back to Yangzhong. I miss them so much already, but in my heart, I KNOW I will see them again.

I'm BACK!

So it's been awhile because my proxy stopped working, but now I'm back!

Since a lot has happened, I'll just do a few highlights.

Sadie and I went to Hefei together for a weekend. Sadie lived in a city near there when she was in China and spent weekends there all the time. We only had time to go for one night, but it was worth it. Hefei is SUPER dirty but we made friends with the sweetest girl who showed us around and took us out to eat.

We went fishing with one of our friends. Chinese fishing is really different because they don't use a reel. Instead they just make the string long enough to reach out into the water a bit while being short enough to handle. They use re-hydrated ground up shrimp shells as bait and apparently it's better than marshmallows because we went for 1 1/2 hours and we caught more than 10 fish. Sadie even caught two, though the first one got away because she yanked the pole so hard the fish flew up and hit the roof before falling off the hook and back into the water. It was a lot of fun and required less patience. Though I do like fishing in America still and I still dream of going ice fishing someday. (I know! Everyone says it's not that fun, but I just really want to try it!)

We also spent a weekend in Shanghai so Sadie could visit a friend who lives there. We tried to do a little Christmas shopping and stayed in a great hostel in the center of tourist central. We also got to visit the Shanghai branch which was so nice especially since we got to watch the primary program.

Kelli decided to come to visit us in China! YEAH!!! She's coming next week on Tuesday, but we won't see her until Thursday (Thanksgiving) and then she'll go with us to Nanjing on Saturday for Thanksgiving dinner with the branch. The next weekend, we are going to Suzhou together. It'll be so fun to show her around and let her experience the China we love so much.

I FINALLY got to go to a Chinese wedding yesterday. AMAZING! Also a little strange. One of the young teachers here invited us to come with all the other teachers at the school. After school got out, there was a big bus waiting near the gate. We got on with all the other teachers and it drove to the restaurant. When we got there, most everyone was already sitting down, and by most everyone I mean 400-500 Chinese people. We were sitting at some tables near the front so we had to walk through hords of tables full of staring people. We don't really blend in here.

The tables already had food on them so we sat and basically started eating. The wedding ceremony happened while people ate and only semi-paid attention. It wasn't quiet and there weren't many sentiments.Also, I didn't understand anything that happened, but they looked happy together. They also had an MC sort of guy that announced everything. After the wedding part was over, the food just kept coming and they had entertainers there to perform. Some dancing girls in belly shirts, a singing woman who turned out to be a man, and a contortionist. They had a hula hopping contest and Sadie won a big stuffed baby Mickey Mouse. There were lots of toasts and I don't know how many times we stood because someone came to our table to toast us, but it was a lot, and I drank a lot of coconut milk stuff.

One of Yangzhong's specialties is puffer fish and what would a Yangzhong wedding be without it? It was good, but tasted like most other fish I've tried. Then there was the whole crab on my plate that I had to figure out how to eat. Lucky for me, a Chinese person helped me and made me knowingly eat the brain. Although it tasted fine, it was just a bit uncomfortable to think about. Other dishes included chicken feet, possibly pigs head though I can't be sure, whole shrimp. When the night was over, our table had layers on layers of food sitting in the middle and we didn't even eat half of it, though some other tables made much better progress than us. It never ceases to amaze me about how much these people can eat.

That's the guy. He really has a beautiful voice.

Update on the Demon Class

I've been in China for 3 weeks now and teaching in Yangzhong for 2 1/2. It feels like so much longer. Home seems a lifetime away and China seems like it's always been here.

I've only taught the Demon Class twice because they went on a field trip during one of our class times. But I'm proud to say that we are making progress! This time, there were only a couple flying projectiles, mostly paper, and I got them to sit practically completely silent for 20 minutes. Their teacher walked over to check on them and they were already quiet. GO ME!

Even though they were totally quiet for 20 minutes, that still leaves 25 other minutes where they were crazy. I had to tell them multiple times to put their homework from other classes away during the lesson, I made two students stand up in the back of class because they kept crawling around  on the floor at the back of the class. I confiscated a watch complete with a red laser that was being shown on me. And so on. I hate having to be so strict. In my other classes I can be kind of crazy and do things to make the kids laugh, but in this class, if I do that, they all go crazy and stop listening completely. If I let them be this loud and insane at the beginning of the year, they will only get worse as time goes on and I can't have that. 

They made postcards as part of the lesson activity at the end of class and most of them wrote apologies to me on theirs. It melted my heart and I just felt more love for them. They are children still in a sense and they work so hard in school. They are there nearly 12 hours of the day 5 days a week. They have so much pressure to do well in class. Can I really blame them for having pent up energy by the end of a long day? I try to make my lessons fun so they can have a little break from the mundane. We play games and I act weird so they laugh. I would just play games all class and have crazy amounts of fun, but I'm here to teach English, too so we have to do a lesson from their book or a cultural lesson about America. I hope that by the end of the semester, we can find a balance together that works for us both. You can't help but love them. Demonesque or not.

China Days

When you are in China, sometimes you get what I call "China Days." China is unpredictable at times and sometimes, you just aren't ready for what she throws at you, or you are homesick, or just overly emotional. Most foreigners I've talked to have similar experiences. It's on those days that I learn and grow the most.                                                                                                                            

Today was a China day. But as one of the characters from a movie I love said, "When it rains, you put on a coat." We (Janny, Julie, Sadie, and myself) got into the city and we found a pet store. I asked the clerk if we could hold one of the puppies and it was SO cute! If I lived here permanently, I might have just bought it.

We also found a crane game. You know, like the ones where you try to pick up a stuffed animals with the claws and it's nearly impossible to win? Except this one was better. MUCH better. Instead of stuffed animals, it was filled with cigarette packs. Hm.... which one, which one?

And then we went to eat at a Lanzhou pulled noodles restaurant, which is my favorite food in China. This was the third one we've found within walking distance of our apartments, I might add. After eating, Sadie showed the owners some US dollar bills she had. They got so excited and kept asking us how much one USD is worth in RMB. The boy kept asking us if we wanted to trade RMB for USD, but I didn't understand that until I looked up what he said on Google Translate when I got home. We gave them the money and took their pictures with it. It was so cute!

And then something incredibly surprising happened. We took a taxi back to our school since we had walked pretty far from home and it was getting cold. When we arrived in front of the school and I asked the driver how much money, he just kept telling me it was free. I was so shocked I just stared at him as he repeated it to me several times. Finally I asked why and he said it was his treat. That has never happened before! I've met plenty of nice taxi drivers, but never any that just took us somewhere for free. By then, I was completely feeling the China love. Plus, a couple people stopped us to take our picture and told us how beautiful we are. If that doesn't make you feel good, what does?

China has been one of the hardest things I've done. It has been the best thing I've done. I'm grateful everyday that God has allowed me to live my passion three times in only two years and that he has shaped me into a person that has been able to cope through the difficulties so that I can enjoy the truely life changing and happy moments. I am a new person. Every time I come here, I come home a new person. I don't know what God's plans for me are, but I hope that China has a lot to do with it in the future. For now, I'm embracing what I have and that's to be in China teaching English in a beautiful city with my sister. 我很开心！

The Cute Things My Students Say

"Hi, my name is *something Chinese* and I want to go to Beijing. It's nice to meet you, you are very beautiful!"

Me: "Who can use 'sorry' in a sentence?"

Clever Boy: "Sorry, I don't understand."

"My father wants me to study abroad someday so he says I need to play with you a lot on the weekends. When do you have free time?"

Student: "Do you like Justin Beiber?"

Me: "Yes, I do." Er... sort of. Haha!

Student: *squeal* "Look, Justin Beiber!" pointing to her purple shoes that look like ones JB wears.

"Hi my name is *something Chinese.* You are very tall."

Me: "Does anyone have any questions for me?"

Student: "How much do you weigh?"

I always let the kids in each class guess how old I am. The youngest I got was 18 with the oldest guess coming in at 35! Two students have guessed right.

While explaining a vocabulary word in class, I took off my scarf to use as a prop, when I doubled it back up to put it on, nearly the whole class gasped.

The best thing can't be captured in a blog post, but because Chinese is a tonal language, they mimic my tones when I have them repeat a word. It can get pretty out of hand on my part sometimes. ;)

My students are the best and I can't wait for them to do and say many more crazy and hilarious things!

The Class From a Demon Pit

Sadie and I are now in Yangzhong, Jiangsu China teaching at our school. We teach 7th and 8th graders together. She has half the 7th grade and half the 8th and I take the other halves. It seems like they lump the kids in classes based on their brains and personalities. It always happens that one class is full of well behaved smart kids and another class is full of demons disguised as middle school students who can't understand the lesson every other class does. Too harsh?

I walk into my fourth and final class for the day to applause and girls crowding me to ask me what my name is, how old I am, if I have a boyfriend, etc and boys walking behind me to see if they are as tall as me. Typical. Then, Class starts and I begin to introduce myself when a ruler goes flying from one side of the room to another. Shocked. A few minutes later after a lecture on not throwing things at other people, while I'm in mid-sentence, a girl in the front row throws a paper airplane across the room at someone. I'm thinking this class can't get worse. You think I'd be smart enough to never think that because it did. The next thing I know, one kid causes another to fall off his chair, another student hits the person next to her, while someone else is yelling across the room to someone while I'm talking. I actually felt like I was in a movie. Things are always over-dramatized there. Or at least I thought that until now! Then, their teacher walks past the window and into the class and immediately, like someone pushed a button that turned them into angels, they were silent. That is until he left a minute later. It's a good thing I've had classes like this before (not as bad, of course) or I'd probably have run out crying. It's also a good thing I know it's not personal. Of course, they got a good talking to.

Twice.

And by some miracle, I got them to be quiet for the last ten minutes of the class. SUPER TEACHER AWARD! But in all honesty, I can't help but love them even though the were being demonesque. These kids are surely going through a lot since being 14 isn't exactly easy and they are in school nearly 12 hours of the day 5 days a week. I think they are allowed to be crazy sometimes.

When things like this happen, you really have to just laugh about it. I mean, the girl threw a paper airplane at someone RIGHT IN FRONT OF MY FACE! I have to admit that girl deserves some points for bravery. It's just Foreign Teacher syndrome. The symptom is a false belief that the foreign teacher doesn't care when people throw paper airplanes or chairs or rulers at people. But don't worry. I'm up for the challenge and I will find the cure! I'm determined to make this class one of the best.

Seventh graders are my favorite! They are so sweet and we have a lot of fun in class together. There is something magical about being a teacher in a class where you can learn and laugh together. You feel connected to each other even though all you know is their favorite color. If I didn't have some crazy classes like the demon class, I wouldn't know how to appreciate my angel classes. So the demon class is a good thing. :)

Okay, now for some pictures of our apartment!!! Sadie's room is not included since she was sleeping when I took these. But it's just a mirror image of mine so it's not necessary. Also, Chinese TV is the best.

China AGAIN!?

I'm so excited to be writing on this blog again because that means, I'm going BACK!

Roll your eyes... now.

In less than 24 hours, I've been asked to go to China in two weeks and I've accepted. Everything has happened so fast and in a whirlwind of emotions.

I don't know how to tell this story because I still can't think straight because I'm so excited.

The program director for China Horizons, Jacob, emailed me asking if I'd be willing to go to China to replace some teachers who are having health problems and need to return to the states. Oh, and would I like to bring a friend? Followed by a request to email him back for more details. With my hands on my face and tears in my eyes I told my mom what the email said. Then I did some jumping up and down, etc. I emailed Jacob twice that night because my first email was sort of incoherent. After emails and phone calls, everything has been worked out.

Sadie, my sister, is going with me and we are going to live in Yangzhong, a small city outside of Nanjing, the first city I lived in. It's a small island on the Yangtze River. We are going to be teaching middle school there for three months. We leave Oct. 2nd!

Everyone around me has been so supportive and I am so grateful. Thank you again and again!

The Heart of Sichuan: Part 2

At about 5:00 in the morning, Liu woke me up and I quickly dressed in my tennis shoes and a rain jacket. We ate a rushed breakfast and then the two of us, one teacher from the school, and 3 boys from grade 6 (all age 15) hopped in the weird van and rode along the dirt road for another hour. At the end of the hour, we were dropped off at a trail. We began a hike up into the mountains to a village where some Yizhu people live. The Yizhu people (more commonly known as Yi People) are an ethnic group of China who are scattered throughout the south of Sichuan as well as other places in the south western part of China. They have their own language which is one of the coolest sounding languages I’ve ever heard (and the coolest looking written language) and they wear beautiful handmade clothing. Most of them are very poor as they are farmers and livestock herders by trade. They enjoy the mountainous regions of China.

We hiked for 2 hours in some of the most beautiful scenery I’ve ever seen. I wish cameras did the beauty justice; however, it’s just not possible. It had rained the day before we left so there were mudslides and rock slides along the trail that we had to find ways to get through or around.  It was a really difficult hike full of steep and dangerous terrain. It was so strange to me to think about the trail. I’ve only ever hiked on trails meant for recreation, but this trail was someone’s only means of getting home. I felt like I’d walked into another world.

When we arrived at the village, it wasn’t what I expected. In my head, I pictured several homes in relative proximity to each other. Instead, one steep trail off the main path lead to one house, and behind that house, there was another trail that lead to several other homes and so on. We hiked up one steep trail that was muddy and slippery. I couldn’t help but think it wouldn’t be fun to go back down this trial and I’d probably fall to my death. At the top, there was an old house fashioned out of some strange cement. There was a large pile of wood to one side and sitting in front of the house was a family including all living generations. As I came over the crest, they clapped for me. When you are red faced and sweaty, the last thing you want is a lot of attention, but as the only white person for miles, that is exactly what you get. They rushed to get me a chair and a water bottle and encouraged me to sit. The thing is, my Chinese did me absolutely no good because these people don’t speak Chinese. They speak Yizhu. The teacher that came with us spoke both so he translated into Chinese and then Liu translated into English… sometimes. The truth is, her English isn’t that good so translation was sometimes pretty slim. 

Okay, almost always.

I felt like I was in a dream. I just couldn’t stop drinking in my surroundings: the beauty of the mountains, the clothing of the people, their home, and the darling children. I wish you could’ve been there. I wish you could’ve seen. I find words fail me. What I saw and felt is beyond description.

We started immediately gathering information about the kids who aren’t in school and as we worked, more and more people came in from the trails. I was overwhelmed by the number of people living in the mountains. I could see how poor they were. I didn’t need to look in their homes or in their wallets. Their clothes were dirty and ripped. While the people gathered, one father was sewing his son’s rubber rain boots up where they had ripped. I felt their humility (and for some, their pride), and I felt their close relationship with everyone in the village. The men smoked together, the women gathered in the shade to laugh and talk and the children ran around, sometimes dangerously close to the cliffs making me feel on edge. The women openly breast fed their babies and toddlers and I tried not to be uncomfortable about it. This is their way of life, not mine.

One girl cried when we asked her why she isn’t in school. She’s 14 and really wants to go. Her parents knew we were coming and didn’t come because they didn’t want to talk to us. Other kids stood by as we encouraged their parents to let them go. Some need their children to care for a blind grandmother, watch some livestock, or other work. These kids are forced to grow up so fast. Some get married at as early as 14. It’s a different way of life in those mountains and it’s hard to understand, but with an open heart, it’s possible to accept it.

There was one boy, age 23, who asked us if we would help him to go to university so he could study English. Liu turned him away. She told him she came from a small village and she worked hard and made a life for herself. He shouldn’t be lazy, but work hard to get there by himself. When she told me about that, I was really upset. This boy lives at least 10 hours from the nearest university, two hours on foot and then 8 hours by car in an ideal situation. He lives in the middle of nowhere for heaven’s sake! How is he supposed to get there on his own when everyone around him is just trying to get by? Unfortunately, we didn’t get any of his information. I am driven to madness when I think of him and I can’t get him off my mind. I told my boss what happened and we agreed we need to find him and help him. I spent the entire 8 hour drive back to Xichang thinking of ways to find him. I will find him and he will go to university if it’s the last thing I do. I can’t imagine how awful it was for him. The hope he felt when we came and then to be turned away and told he’s lazy. It makes my heart ache. He deserves a chance. I want to find a way to give him that chance.

We gathered the names of several kids as well as their pictures. Then we gathered information of the elderly and poor families. Many had lost loved ones and many more were very poor.

Near the end of our time on the little mountaintop, we began handing out clothes to the children that volunteers at Roundabout had sorted. I was so overwhelmed and struggled then failed to hold back my tears. Even now I can’t help but get emotional.  Imagine a child dressed in dirty and ripped clothes getting something new. Some kids put on their new clothes immediately over the top of the clothes they were already wearing. Others hugged their clothing tightly and wouldn’t let go when someone tried to see what they got. The smiles on people’s faces were so beautiful to me.  I kept thinking about how this is what my work at Roundabout is doing for people. This is what the last two months have been about. The next time I sorted clothes I saw those smiles and felt that excitement that was in the air on that mountain in the sun. I made a difference to someone. I made a little mark on the world, but I feel like the world made a huge mark on my heart, one that I will never, ever forget.

While I was on that mountain, my world seemed so trivial. What was I focused on in America? Hair, clothes, music, shoes, my weight, but here, halfway across the world are people who have nothing and they can still smile, they can still run and play and laugh. They don’t have a place to shower, but they don’t mind. They don’t own a car or know the songs playing on the radio, but that’s not important. If they had so much food that they could start worrying about weight, that would be a step up. It changed me. I couldn’t help but feel that my life would lead me back to those mountains and those people some day. From my experience, those feelings usually aren’t wrong. Once you see something like that, you can’t go back.

We returned to the school where we handed out more clothes, cookies, and candy as well as some school supplies and shoes. Like the kids on the mountain, these kids put their clothes on right away. They ate their cookies too fast, and then ate their candy right after. They traded pencils, colored pencils, and crayons with each other for at least a half an hour, and when they had free time, we danced, played games, and sang songs together. One girl gave me her bracelet, others crowded close just so they could get a hug or a smile. They just wanted some love and attention and Kendra and I were happy to give it. I was sad to leave those mountains and even more sad to leave the kids.

I hope that what I’m saying isn’t offensive to anyone. I’m just sharing openly how I felt and what I saw. I know that when I’m in America, it’s harder to remember these things and think of the poverty because everything around me is so much better and I’m accustomed to it. I accept that and I don’t condemn anyone.

I can’t begin to express my gratitude to China Horizons for allowing me to come back to China, Leslie for letting us work with her at Roundabout, and Roundabout for changing my life. I know that there is someone shaping me and my life. I don’t know what He has planned for me, but I look forward to my future and the possibilities that lie ahead.

This is why I love China. This is why I went back.

If you click on the pictures, they get bigger so you can see better. Sorry that some of the quality is lacking. I have soooo many pictures but I tried to chose the best ones.

This little girl is wearing her new jumper.

New shorts. Perfect.

Look at those smiles!

New clothes in hand.

Holding a new born baby. SO adorable!

Stuffing their faces with cookies.

Me and Liu handing out clothes to the kids.

The Heart of Sichuan: Part 1

As part of my work at Roundabout, and because the owner of Roundabout is absolutely incredible, I went on a trip to one of the most beautiful places in China. We went with the intention to locate children who are not in school and begin a sponsorship program to help them get there.

Kendra and I woke up bright and early to catch a taxi to the airport with Liu, one of our co-workers who would serve as our translator and help with arrangements and information gathering. We started out by leaving Beijing and flying to Chengdu in Sichuan province and then we caught a connecting flight to Xichang. When we got off the plane, I could feel my head clearing. It’s amazing what three months of breathing polluted air does to your brain.

Xichang is absolutely beautiful, lush, and green.  We met with Father Martin, a Korean Catholic missionary here in China and he connected us with the school we’d be going to help in the mountains. We had to wait until the next day to travel to the next destination, so he took us to lunch and showed us around Xichang. We went to Qiong Hai Lake and afterwards, he mentioned some Chinese boys he wanted us to meet. He didn’t really give us a choice, so we went with him to another park where we met with two Chinese college students.

Awkward!

They didn’t speak much English and Father Martin was continuosly telling us how “cutie” the boys are.  One of the boys asked us what we like to do and Father Martin answered for Kendra saying she likes to ride bikes.

Which she doesn’t.

At all.

The next morning we met at the church to go up into the mountains with two of the sister missionaries. We started out in a funny looking van of sorts that took us on roughly paved roads full of pot holes for almost 3 hours. We arrived at a place called Zhaojue where we bought some fruit and such and then moved to another funny looking car. From here, we moved onto rough dirt roads.

The driver drove fast.

He broke his car.

We changed cars.

Then we were off again. We followed a stream that was the color of caramel for most of the 5 hours we were in the car. The scenery got increasingly more beautiful as we went. The other driver drove too fast too, but by some stroke of luck, his car held up. It was cramped and it was too hard to talk because we were like rag dolls in a toy car flailing around. There were tons of people living in the mountains and along the road. It felt like we were in the middle of nowhere and then all the sudden, there would be a little village. It was a strange feeling.

We got to the boarding school and it was such a relief to get out of that car. Kendra got pretty car sick. It’s pretty much a miracle I didn’t. My body felt unaccustomed to the lack of movement after the car stopped and I wasn’t bouncing around and my head wasn’t hitting the side of the car. We got a quick glimpse of the kids before we were ushered into the sister’s living area for dinner. They were looking at us curiously though they were too afraid to approach us.

Following dinner, we had a meeting with the teachers of the school to get information from them. We had a lot of questions.

A lot.

How many kids, where do they come from, what’s the money situation in their families, are their parents living, what supplies do they need, and so on.

In the initial meeting, we learned that there were 68 kids all from villages in the area. The school is paired with a sort of care home for elderly mental patients. Although the government funds the school and hires the teachers, they have difficulty hiring because there is a belief that the patients are contagious. The government will pay for children to come to the elementary school, but once they finish grade 6, the government removes any funding and most, if not all the teenagers don’t go on to middle school, instead they return to the mountains and their villages where they will most likely live for the rest of their lives. We learned that the middle school is in Zhaojue, almost five hours away. For one child to go to middle school for a year, it costs approximately 5,000RMB (roughly $800).

At that, we asked the teachers to gather all the grade 6 kids. There were 15 total at the school. We began by taking their information: name, age, gender, and family situation. Following that, we took each of their pictures. Some kids parents had died and they live with grandparents or other relatives when they aren’t at school. Many of the children come from large families. The government doesn’t regulate the number of children people have in the mountains villages so family sizes can go up to 8 kids in some families. They need help on their farms with the livestock, so the more hands the better.

On a side note, as I counted to three to take their pictures, each kids face went from pleasant to scared or uncomfortable. These kids aren’t used to getting their pictures taken.

I went to bed that night on a bed with a board for a mattress with thoughts of the kids’ situations swimming in my mind. I didn’t know that the next day, things would only get worse.

That next afternoon, while the kids were on break, we toured the school. We started with the class rooms. There were 5 rooms with a blackboard and some desks and chairs. There were no pictures on the wall, no stimulation, no friendly colors. It was down to the very basic necessities.

My heart was sinking and I wasn't prepared for what we saw next. A stench that smelled like rotten milk mixed with dirty bodies reached my nose as we entered the kids dormitory. We walked through each room with two bunk beds or more each. The bedding was old, ripped and stained. I would bet my life that they had never been washed. Stuffed next to their pillows were the few very dirty other clothes they owned. Under the bedding were two thin mats that looked like they were made of leather. In between the mats it was crawling with bugs. My heart broke and tears filled my eyes. How could they be living like this? I slept in a bed that was clean, free of stains, rips, and bugs while just two buildings over they lived like this. These sister that live at the school should be helping these kids, but why aren't they? Why aren't the clothes and bedding being washed? Why?

Then we went to the next level up where the teachers sleep and the conditions weren't much better. It smelled better, but not by much. The teachers kitchen wasn't a kitchen at all. They cook on the floor and they don't have a fridge to keep their food fresh. They don't have any kind of desk or office to work in and the TV they have was paid for by one of the teachers with his own money. These men have such good hearts. The conditions are bad and they don't actually have to be there, but they are there for the kids. They are the best thing the kids have at that school. We asked them what they needed and Roundabout will do it's best to make things better for both the kids and the teachers.

To read part two, click here.

Foreigners React

This blog post is dedicated to the weird things foreigners living in Beijing say to Kendra and me.

F=Foreigner
M=Me

F: How do you get into the city?
M: We take a bus or the metro.
F: REALLY!? Wow! You guys are so brave! That is so cool!

F: You've taken a sleeper train? Oh, you are so brave.

M: We just had lunch in a little Chinese restaurant.
F: Are you sick?

F: Are you eating street food? That's brave.

I live in the most Westernized area in all of Beijing. I am very blessed to be in the situation I am in and I really enjoy it! However, I miss real China. We live in Shunyi district which is in the Northeastern part of Beijing near the international airport. This is where all the foreign expatriates come and live so natually, it's filled with import stores and western restaurants like Mrs. Fields, Subway, Dominos, etc.

F: I don't live in China. I live in Shunyi.

I miss real China.

Roundabout does book fairs every so often to raise money for kids and their families that need help paying hospital bills. We went to help set it up. There wasn't room in the van so they asked if we'd be okay to sit in the truck with the drivers bringing the books.

F: If you don't mind going on an adventure, you can go in the trucks with the books.
M: That's fine. (Picturing us in the back of the truck in the dark)
F: Are you sure?
M: Yes, absolutely.

LATER

The trucks come and we sit in front with the truck driver. Our Chinese friend and coworker, Lily says,

L: Are you okay?
M： Yes.
L: Okay? You'll have to tell me how you feel after.Are you sure you're okay?

By the way, in 3 weeks, I'll be leaving Beijing to renew my visa and go to NANJING! WOOHOO! I'll miss Beijing though (No really, I will!) and the friends I've made. It's been an adventure.

I love China.

Holiday Weekend

This past weekend was the Qingming Festival. This is somewhat similar to Memorial Day in the States. In ancient times and still a little today, they use the holiday to sweep their ancestors graves. Now, most people use it to travel. We didn't do any traveling, instead we stayed in Beijing. Robin, whose home we stay in, took us to Huanghuacheng, a portion of the Great Wall that is partially reconstructed and partially completely wild. There weren't any people around for most of the time which is SO different from the last time I went to the Great Wall. I went to the most touristy section in all of Beijing. Half way through (probably not even) it started to rain so after waiting 10 minutes or so in a guard tower, we decided it would be best if we got off the wall. The stone is pretty slippery and we didn't want to risk it. I was disappointed because I really want to spend a lot of time on the wild portion of the wall. Instead I spent 5 minutes on it while Robin and Kendra waited for me below in the valley. It. Was. So. Cool! I want to go back really badly! Someday, I'll bring my Dad. He'd love it.

That arch is going to crumble at any minute. Sort of scary.

Purely wild wall.

 After hiking on the wall, we went to a little restaurant in the nearby village. Robin ordered us some fish and they caught it, filleted it, and grilled it right in front of us. It doesn't get much fresher unless you are eating sushi. He also ordered something that is literally translated at prickly ash. They dipped the leaves in some batter and fried it. It was good except the thorn I found with the leaves. Bleh. We also had eggplant which is my favorite, egg and tomatoe, and some pork dish. Chinese food is sooo good. I NEED to know how to cook it.

On Saturday, we went with a large group of foreigners and Chinese to the Beijing Zoo. Chinese zoos are not as bearable as American zoos. The habitats are less homelike for the animals. However, the Panda's were in a really nice enclosure. Most of them were sleeping, but the last one was eating bamboo like it was going to disappear at any second. He was cute and Chinese.

I also met someone who knows one of my Chinese friends in Nanjing. That is not really something that happens very often in a country with over a billion people. I could go on forever about how crazy it is, but I'll spare you.

At Roundabout, Kendra and I are both getting more responsibilities, daily jobs, etc. It's going so well. I enjoy every day at Roundabout and being with the people, both staff and volunteers. Everyday is fulfilling and worthwhile.

We have a Chinese friend at Roundabout named Julianna. She is 27, pregnant, and alone. In the US, this is sad, but she would have a lot of options. In China, it's different. In order to have a baby "legally" you must have a certificate with you at the hospital. In order to get this certificate, you need to be married. If you don't have this certificate, your baby doesn't get the equivalent of our social security number. They also can't go to school at any public or private schools in China except the migrant schools which are not funded by the government and are always in very poor condition without enough text books and other needed school supplies. This is the situation Julianna is in. The father said he loves the baby, but not her and will not marry her. That's all easy for him because he isn't required to take care of the baby by law. Julianna didn't tell her parent's that she is pregnant because they would be very angry and might disown her. I worry about her more every day, but after yesterday, I can't get her off my mind.

Yesterday was Julianna's birthday. She invited Kendra and me to her home for hot pot (one of the best types of Chinese food ever). She rents one room from a landlord along a strip of old buildings. The next room over houses a family and their 3 kids. There is no kitchen, there is no bathroom or shower. She has to walk a few minutes to the public bath house. She hangs her clothes on a string she strung across one corner of the room. The couch and the bed are crammed on one side of the room.  Outside there is a water spigot and by her door is a table where she cooks her meals. She has a small propane tank that is connected to a single portable gas stove top. That is the extent of Julianna's home. I kept thinking of ways I could hide some money for her to find later when she most needed it. I worry about the baby and what his/her life will be like. Will they have enough to get by? What happens to the baby while Julianna works? So many questions. Luckily she is working at Roundabout where more than one person is worrying about her a great deal. It's not often that I ask publicly for people to pray for someone or something but in this case, if you read this, pray for Julianna. Pray that her parents' hearts are softened and that her situation becomes better. Pray that she has strength and that the baby is healthy. Julianna is so cute and positive. Her English isn't very good so she speaks half English half sound effects. It's so funny! She seems happy, but who knows what is going on under the surface. Keep her in your thoughts.